Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The joy that creeps in
So here we are, once again confined to a tiny hospital room, completely isolated from contact with anyone from the outside world. My little Chunks-a-lot spiked a decently high fever yesterday and, coupled with the fact that she has a barely-there immune system, was admitted immediately upon our arrival to the E.R. The rooms here at our home town hospital are a lot smaller than the ones at St. Jude's and it almost feels as though we are the only ones in the entire world. But, for some reason, that's okay with me. She is fast asleep beside me as I lose myself in the world of blogging and I can hear every breath she takes and feel every little flinch and stir of her tiny, chunky legs. I figured we would end up here when I heard that her counts were plummeting downward and was dreading it at first, and then we got here and I was quite surprised. Surprised by the peace that overwhelmed me, surprised by the patience that overcame me and delighted by the sweet spirit my little Chunks has displayed despite being locked up in this prison. We had to sit in a tiny room yesterday in the E.R for five hours and as hard as that might seem with a toddler, my little girl handled it like a trooper. We sat on the E.R stretcher playing race cars, Little People and baby dolls and had a delicious dinner of pretzels and vanilla wafers, but it didn't bother her in the least. Her constant compliancy and wonderful attitude towards life helps me to embrace things head on without fearing the insanity that might come with it. For she took something so mundane and turned it into something exciting, something fun, almost like a playdate/picnic/doctor's visit all wrapped into one. And as she lays here beside me, sleeping as soundly as she would in her baby bed at home, I am inspired by her ability not just to adapt but to find light and happiness in every situation. So as hard and lonely as it is to be isolated from everyone right now, I guess I could sneak a peek through my daughter's rose colored glasses. For here we are, she's happy, albeit a little sick, but still happy enough to play with her babies and color her puppy-dog pictures; and I guess it doesn't really matter where we are, as long as we're together. Sometimes I wonder how someone so little can possess so much strength and endurance, but if you look in her eyes, you'll see it.....the presence of Christ in her tiny spirit. I guess when you are filled with the spirit of God, you don't always have to go searching for joy, somehow it just creeps in.